Weight

Let me start off by saying that I quite frankly don’t care what you think of me for posting this, because I am flat out sick of the double standards. I constantly see all these posts and articles about how insensitive it is to seemingly even utter the words overweight or obese but apparently it's perfectly ok to single out celebrities in magazines for being too thin and to brush off those with fast metabolisms as whiners. PSA: under and overweight are potentially unhealthy and both can be a continuous struggle. How is it bullying to suggest an overweight person seek help but it's a public service to highlight the anorexic... How is singling out the thin in magazines not bullying when if that were done to the overweight there would be a public outcry. What sort of world do we live in where it is ok to not only publicly expose those suffering from being underweight/anorexic and socially correct to encourage them to seek help but bullying to suggest the same to an overweight/obese person. We live in a world where people are bombarded with the fact that they should all be thin but people are scared to even suggest that someone is too big yet have no hesitation in saying that someone is too small from a health perspective (do people not see how messed up all these contradictory claims are). Why is it ok to ask thin celebrities about their eating habits during interviews but an outrage to ask the same of a larger celebrity (neither are the interviewer’s business). It’s hypocrisy to say that one is helping and one is bullying when singling out a person’s weight, because quite frankly if you are doing anything more than trying to help a person for health reasons it’s bullying; it’s really not a wonder this world is rife with body image issues. So many people are always on about having compassion and that people come in all sizes. Well you know what small is a size too and just because it invokes jealously in people doesn't make it right to plaster magazines with the anorexic who are struggling with a disease or brush off those who eat well but struggle to maintain weight any more than it is ok to bully the overweight/obese. A healthy weight has nothing to do with clothing size but your BMI (Body Mass Index) based on weight versus height. Until people realise this we will continue to live in a world where people are bullied for their size instead of being encouraged to be healthy. Surely it is more important to be healthy and happy than it is to be a size zero. Instead of publicly bullying others how about people start taking stock of their own health and body image because size zero doesn't always equal healthy and size 14 doesn't always equal unhealthy. It all depends on the individual. We need to stop talking about weight in terms of ‘shaming’ & start taking responsibility for our own lives because shame is internal not something inflicted on you by others. Stop blaming others for your feelings & your life. Start discussing weight in terms of health, because until we do we won’t open a dialogue on the important issues, we will continue to throw pity parties & blame everyone else for our choices. 

Stop stealing indie films

Uploading artists work online so that people don't have to pay or wait for the physical or digital release undermines the entire creative process and the artist's right to make a living from their art. Your right to see/own a copy of their work does NOT precede the artist's right to make a living. You have a right to see/own it when you pay for it! Independent artists are essentially self-funded. You are stealing directly from them by providing their work freely. 

Furthermore uploading only certain actor's parts of a film not only diminishes the work of all the other talented people involved it misses the point of the film, which can only be understood in its entirety. If illegal uploads increase significantly when a certain actor is in a film they may be an asset for their talent but YOU are turning them into a financial liability by making them high risk actors. So since many of you clearly have no compassion for the film-makers and all the hard work, talent and heart that goes into bringing us their work you may have somewhere inside you a shred of compassion for the actors you claim to admire and start supporting their work by supporting the entirety of the film instead of stealing from the creators to feed your obsessions. 

To love indie film is a passion. They are not backed by multi-million dollar studios or churned out regularly like Hollywood films; not that I'm condoning stealing Hollywood movies. If you wish to see them you have to be patient. If you wish indie film-makers to keep creating these beautiful films you have to pay for them. If you wish your favourite actors to keep getting work stop stealing the films they are in. Have some respect; not only for the creative process but the hard working, talented people behind the films, because without their vision there are no films. 

PS. I don't care what country you are from. Film-makers do not work to feed your obsessions, they work to tell stories. I'm from Australia and that makes it just as difficult for me to see indie films as for many of you; but you know what I travel and I wait. And I am happy to wait because I know that the films are worth it and that in supporting the artists I'm helping them do something they love, something they generously share with us for us to love. 

Celebrities are people too

What is wrong with certain so called fans these days that as soon as a celebrity says or does something they don't agree with they hate on them. Celebrity is a title given to someone whose job is in the public eye, it does NOT define who they are. They are PEOPLE like the rest of us and it is YOU who put them on pedestals and then abuse them when YOU knock them off. As people they are just as entitled to their opinions as you or I. Being a fan doesn't mean that you have to agree with everything they say and do. But being a fan does mean you should respect them and their right to their opinion. They are not here to cater to your every whim and nor can they be expected to be exactly who you or anyone else expect them to be. They are their own people with their own opinions, tastes and beliefs. By hating on them and ceasing to be fans you are basically suggesting that they are to give up their right to an opinion when they enter the public eye. Celebrity doesn’t mean that a person should be silenced. Do you wipe your friends and treat them like crap when they don’t like or do the same things as you…

So next time someone you are supposedly a fan of does something you don’t agree with you have two choices: 1/ ignore it and understand that everyone is different or 2/ childishly (ie publicly) ditch them because they aren’t the mindless drone you wanted them to be. At no point is abusing them an option. 

What’s really sick in all this

You know what's sick: not that Mark Polish made a beautiful film with an actress you like but that those of you who didn't like it continue to follow Mark on twitter or stalk his tweets lying in wait for any new post because you are hell bent on letting him know how much you hate him and/or FLO at every opportunity. What’s sick is the way many of you treat Stana; you may claim to be defending her but many of you are really just being disrespectful to two people.

Mark is not obsessed with Stana he is a filmmaker who cast an actress for a film. It is many of you who are obsessed and you are projecting that onto how you see everything Stana does and is. You stopped being simply fans a long time ago and now run on pure, blinding obsession. So many of you treat Stana like an object, a piece of meat to sexualise and demean at every turn and yet you condemn Mark for casting her in a role that showcases her talent, bravery and adventurous spirit, not just her beauty. 

FLO is a film and Mark and Stana are actors playing characters; it’s not real and yet Stana is the only actress I know of who is constantly condemned for doing her job. Stana is NOT Beckett nor is she really with 'Castle’. But there are so many who either seem to actually believe that Caskett are real or that Stana somehow belongs to Nathan that in doing her job anyone else with the ‘audacity’ to work with her are labelled. You just have to watch any of her roles to see that Stana gives them her all. She doesn't hold back and that is part of what makes her such a remarkable actress. It is disturbing how many people have blurred the line between actress and character.

To those of you who call FLO porn have you not seen all the tweets obsessed with Caskett having sex… Many of you seem to want Castle to air on HBO but you would condemn FLO as porn when there was only one sex scene, and it was the most respectfully, tastefully done sex scene I’ve ever seen on film. The entire film is incredibly respectful and beautifully showcases what it means to be in love and love is more than sex. You are offended by FLO but the idea of turning Castle into a porn show doesn’t seem to faze people. Hypocritical double standards again stemming from this blurred line between fiction and reality.

To those of you who condemn FLO for the affair, the film is so much more than that. Do you also condemn films that depict assault, murder, robbery, war, hate crimes, drugs, etc. In fact Castle, as a crime show, depicts many of these things and you don't condemn it.  

If you don't like FLO, and by association Mark, that is your choice; simply unfollow him or stop stalking his tweets. Don't read his interviews or watch FLO/HWML, but most importantly DO NOT treat him like garbage. Keep your disgusting comments to yourself and stop with the harassment. This is an incredible, talented, kind, generous person you are rubbishing and he deserves to be treated with respect. You are entitled to not like something or someone but that doesn't entitle you to use the anonymity of the Internet to be disrespectful, hurtful and downright inappropriate. By association you claim to be fans of Stana; do you really think she would appreciate your treating her friends this way. Stana has had nothing but positive things to say about her experience making FLO, she talks of trust and says she would do it again in a heartbeat, so stop projecting your feelings onto those involved in the film.

We get it you don't like it. Get over it and quit wasting your energy on hate and instead go and discuss the things you enjoy.

The only thing worse than bullying is defending your behaviour like you have a right to hurt others. You have NO such right! Your opinion is NOT more important than a person's feelings. If you are offended by such a notion than you seriously need to rethink your life choices. Freedom of speech is NOT the right to say whatever you want, whenever you want, damn the consequences. 

Forever Love

Grandma & Grandpa

Sixty years ago today Edwin Joy and Patricia Adams said I do and spent the next near 58 years building their lives together. With five kids (four boys aged 7, 9, 11 & 13 and a girl 2) in tow they boarded a boat in England and came to Australia where daughter number two was born seven years later. Here they established new roots and until the day they died they lived in the same house my dad grew up in and that numerous dogs throughout the years called home. Six kids have since grown to include nineteen grandchildren and one great grandchild.

My grandparents may not have been big on leaving the house, you had to visit them for the most part, but family was incredibly important to them. There was never a shortage of love at their house and regardless of the growing number of grandchildren ranging in age from myself at thirty (in 5 days) to four when Grandma died and seven months when Grandpa died they never seemed out of their comfort zone interacting with any of us. Family was in their blood; it came so naturally to them.

After nearly 58 years of marriage my Grandma passed away from cancer in 2011. Grandma was someone who I cannot remember being sick a day in my life, whom we all thought would be someone who saw 100, and one of the strongest women I’ve known so her diagnosis was a massive shock to everyone. One of the first things Grandma said after she was diagnosed was that she’d see Grandpa’s next birthday but not hers. She died six days after his birthday and six days before her own, living more approximately six months past doctor’s expectations. When she was nearing the end Grandpa told her that he would be joining her soon. After she died he stopped taking his medication and barely ate, but somehow his body managed to hold out just over three years when his heart and soul for all intents and purposes had died with Grandma. His wish was to be buried so the urn holding Grandma’s ashes was buried with him – together forever. I believe two things when it come to my grandparents’ passing: that through sheer determination Grandma kept her promise to see Grandpa’s next birthday and that Grandpa died of a broken heart. Theirs is a true love story and one I truly admire and am honoured to have witnessed.