Weight

Let me start off by saying that I quite frankly don’t care what you think of me for posting this, because I am flat out sick of the double standards. I constantly see all these posts and articles about how insensitive it is to seemingly even utter the words overweight or obese but apparently it's perfectly ok to single out celebrities in magazines for being too thin and to brush off those with fast metabolisms as whiners. PSA: under and overweight are potentially unhealthy and both can be a continuous struggle. How is it bullying to suggest an overweight person seek help but it's a public service to highlight the anorexic... How is singling out the thin in magazines not bullying when if that were done to the overweight there would be a public outcry. What sort of world do we live in where it is ok to not only publicly expose those suffering from being underweight/anorexic and socially correct to encourage them to seek help but bullying to suggest the same to an overweight/obese person. We live in a world where people are bombarded with the fact that they should all be thin but people are scared to even suggest that someone is too big yet have no hesitation in saying that someone is too small from a health perspective (do people not see how messed up all these contradictory claims are). Why is it ok to ask thin celebrities about their eating habits during interviews but an outrage to ask the same of a larger celebrity (neither are the interviewer’s business). It’s hypocrisy to say that one is helping and one is bullying when singling out a person’s weight, because quite frankly if you are doing anything more than trying to help a person for health reasons it’s bullying; it’s really not a wonder this world is rife with body image issues. So many people are always on about having compassion and that people come in all sizes. Well you know what small is a size too and just because it invokes jealously in people doesn't make it right to plaster magazines with the anorexic who are struggling with a disease or brush off those who eat well but struggle to maintain weight any more than it is ok to bully the overweight/obese. A healthy weight has nothing to do with clothing size but your BMI (Body Mass Index) based on weight versus height. Until people realise this we will continue to live in a world where people are bullied for their size instead of being encouraged to be healthy. Surely it is more important to be healthy and happy than it is to be a size zero. Instead of publicly bullying others how about people start taking stock of their own health and body image because size zero doesn't always equal healthy and size 14 doesn't always equal unhealthy. It all depends on the individual. We need to stop talking about weight in terms of ‘shaming’ & start taking responsibility for our own lives because shame is internal not something inflicted on you by others. Stop blaming others for your feelings & your life. Start discussing weight in terms of health, because until we do we won’t open a dialogue on the important issues, we will continue to throw pity parties & blame everyone else for our choices. 

Stop stealing indie films

Uploading artists work online so that people don't have to pay or wait for the physical or digital release undermines the entire creative process and the artist's right to make a living from their art. Your right to see/own a copy of their work does NOT precede the artist's right to make a living. You have a right to see/own it when you pay for it! Independent artists are essentially self-funded. You are stealing directly from them by providing their work freely. 

Furthermore uploading only certain actor's parts of a film not only diminishes the work of all the other talented people involved it misses the point of the film, which can only be understood in its entirety. If illegal uploads increase significantly when a certain actor is in a film they may be an asset for their talent but YOU are turning them into a financial liability by making them high risk actors. So since many of you clearly have no compassion for the film-makers and all the hard work, talent and heart that goes into bringing us their work you may have somewhere inside you a shred of compassion for the actors you claim to admire and start supporting their work by supporting the entirety of the film instead of stealing from the creators to feed your obsessions. 

To love indie film is a passion. They are not backed by multi-million dollar studios or churned out regularly like Hollywood films; not that I'm condoning stealing Hollywood movies. If you wish to see them you have to be patient. If you wish indie film-makers to keep creating these beautiful films you have to pay for them. If you wish your favourite actors to keep getting work stop stealing the films they are in. Have some respect; not only for the creative process but the hard working, talented people behind the films, because without their vision there are no films. 

PS. I don't care what country you are from. Film-makers do not work to feed your obsessions, they work to tell stories. I'm from Australia and that makes it just as difficult for me to see indie films as for many of you; but you know what I travel and I wait. And I am happy to wait because I know that the films are worth it and that in supporting the artists I'm helping them do something they love, something they generously share with us for us to love. 

Celebrities are people too

What is wrong with certain so called fans these days that as soon as a celebrity says or does something they don't agree with they hate on them. Celebrity is a title given to someone whose job is in the public eye, it does NOT define who they are. They are PEOPLE like the rest of us and it is YOU who put them on pedestals and then abuse them when YOU knock them off. As people they are just as entitled to their opinions as you or I. Being a fan doesn't mean that you have to agree with everything they say and do. But being a fan does mean you should respect them and their right to their opinion. They are not here to cater to your every whim and nor can they be expected to be exactly who you or anyone else expect them to be. They are their own people with their own opinions, tastes and beliefs. By hating on them and ceasing to be fans you are basically suggesting that they are to give up their right to an opinion when they enter the public eye. Celebrity doesn’t mean that a person should be silenced. Do you wipe your friends and treat them like crap when they don’t like or do the same things as you…

So next time someone you are supposedly a fan of does something you don’t agree with you have two choices: 1/ ignore it and understand that everyone is different or 2/ childishly (ie publicly) ditch them because they aren’t the mindless drone you wanted them to be. At no point is abusing them an option. 

What’s really sick in all this

You know what's sick: not that Mark Polish made a beautiful film with an actress you like but that those of you who didn't like it continue to follow Mark on twitter or stalk his tweets lying in wait for any new post because you are hell bent on letting him know how much you hate him and/or FLO at every opportunity. What’s sick is the way many of you treat Stana; you may claim to be defending her but many of you are really just being disrespectful to two people.

Mark is not obsessed with Stana he is a filmmaker who cast an actress for a film. It is many of you who are obsessed and you are projecting that onto how you see everything Stana does and is. You stopped being simply fans a long time ago and now run on pure, blinding obsession. So many of you treat Stana like an object, a piece of meat to sexualise and demean at every turn and yet you condemn Mark for casting her in a role that showcases her talent, bravery and adventurous spirit, not just her beauty. 

FLO is a film and Mark and Stana are actors playing characters; it’s not real and yet Stana is the only actress I know of who is constantly condemned for doing her job. Stana is NOT Beckett nor is she really with 'Castle’. But there are so many who either seem to actually believe that Caskett are real or that Stana somehow belongs to Nathan that in doing her job anyone else with the ‘audacity’ to work with her are labelled. You just have to watch any of her roles to see that Stana gives them her all. She doesn't hold back and that is part of what makes her such a remarkable actress. It is disturbing how many people have blurred the line between actress and character.

To those of you who call FLO porn have you not seen all the tweets obsessed with Caskett having sex… Many of you seem to want Castle to air on HBO but you would condemn FLO as porn when there was only one sex scene, and it was the most respectfully, tastefully done sex scene I’ve ever seen on film. The entire film is incredibly respectful and beautifully showcases what it means to be in love and love is more than sex. You are offended by FLO but the idea of turning Castle into a porn show doesn’t seem to faze people. Hypocritical double standards again stemming from this blurred line between fiction and reality.

To those of you who condemn FLO for the affair, the film is so much more than that. Do you also condemn films that depict assault, murder, robbery, war, hate crimes, drugs, etc. In fact Castle, as a crime show, depicts many of these things and you don't condemn it.  

If you don't like FLO, and by association Mark, that is your choice; simply unfollow him or stop stalking his tweets. Don't read his interviews or watch FLO/HWML, but most importantly DO NOT treat him like garbage. Keep your disgusting comments to yourself and stop with the harassment. This is an incredible, talented, kind, generous person you are rubbishing and he deserves to be treated with respect. You are entitled to not like something or someone but that doesn't entitle you to use the anonymity of the Internet to be disrespectful, hurtful and downright inappropriate. By association you claim to be fans of Stana; do you really think she would appreciate your treating her friends this way. Stana has had nothing but positive things to say about her experience making FLO, she talks of trust and says she would do it again in a heartbeat, so stop projecting your feelings onto those involved in the film.

We get it you don't like it. Get over it and quit wasting your energy on hate and instead go and discuss the things you enjoy.

The only thing worse than bullying is defending your behaviour like you have a right to hurt others. You have NO such right! Your opinion is NOT more important than a person's feelings. If you are offended by such a notion than you seriously need to rethink your life choices. Freedom of speech is NOT the right to say whatever you want, whenever you want, damn the consequences. 

Forever Love

Grandma & Grandpa

Sixty years ago today Edwin Joy and Patricia Adams said I do and spent the next near 58 years building their lives together. With five kids (four boys aged 7, 9, 11 & 13 and a girl 2) in tow they boarded a boat in England and came to Australia where daughter number two was born seven years later. Here they established new roots and until the day they died they lived in the same house my dad grew up in and that numerous dogs throughout the years called home. Six kids have since grown to include nineteen grandchildren and one great grandchild.

My grandparents may not have been big on leaving the house, you had to visit them for the most part, but family was incredibly important to them. There was never a shortage of love at their house and regardless of the growing number of grandchildren ranging in age from myself at thirty (in 5 days) to four when Grandma died and seven months when Grandpa died they never seemed out of their comfort zone interacting with any of us. Family was in their blood; it came so naturally to them.

After nearly 58 years of marriage my Grandma passed away from cancer in 2011. Grandma was someone who I cannot remember being sick a day in my life, whom we all thought would be someone who saw 100, and one of the strongest women I’ve known so her diagnosis was a massive shock to everyone. One of the first things Grandma said after she was diagnosed was that she’d see Grandpa’s next birthday but not hers. She died six days after his birthday and six days before her own, living more approximately six months past doctor’s expectations. When she was nearing the end Grandpa told her that he would be joining her soon. After she died he stopped taking his medication and barely ate, but somehow his body managed to hold out just over three years when his heart and soul for all intents and purposes had died with Grandma. His wish was to be buried so the urn holding Grandma’s ashes was buried with him – together forever. I believe two things when it come to my grandparents’ passing: that through sheer determination Grandma kept her promise to see Grandpa’s next birthday and that Grandpa died of a broken heart. Theirs is a true love story and one I truly admire and am honoured to have witnessed.

Gun laws

RIP to the innocent victims of the Newton, Connecticut shooting.

This is just the latest in a long and unnecessary line of mass shootings in the United States. When is the US government going to wake up and realise that it shouldn't be about an individual’s right to bear arms, but about a society’s right to be safe. Their job is to protect their people, create a country in which everyone can live with the right to be safe and treated equally. Yet time and time again they prove that the antiquated right to bear arms is more important than the right of an entire nation to safely leave their house and take part in day to day activities that a lot of us around the world take for granted and don't think twice about. The Constitution was created in the 1700's. This is the 21st century and it's high time that the US government stopped treating this document like the be all and end all and understand that like anything else it has to evolve with the times. Just because something was relevant in the 1700's does not make it relevant in the 2000's. Move forward; don't get stuck in the past to the detriment of society and their safety.

Yes it is people killing people, but they are using guns and it’s high time that ease of access was removed. In Australia on 28 April 1996 one of the darkest days in our recent history occurred in the form of the Port Arthur massacre where 35 people lost their lives and 23 people were wounded. The Australian government made it their mission to ensure that this could never happen again and gun laws in Australia became strict and civilian guns were recalled. The Aussie people voluntarily gave up their guns and tight licensing policies were put in place. Cops, military and farmers are allowed to own guns and last I heard if a farmer leaves the land they must forfeit their gun and their license. Australia has not seen such an event since these laws were put in place. Laws put in place by a government who understood that society as a whole were more important than the individual beliefs of those who think that they should have a right to have a gun. In Australia you cannot just walk into a shop and buy a gun or ammunition and you most certainly cannot just get your hands on an automatic weapon. That is simply unheard of.

I don’t want the right to own a gun. I have never met anyone in Australia who wants the right to own a gun. In fact as a kid my brother and I were not even allowed toy guns and nor were we interested in them. So why is it that there are still enough people in the United States in the 21^st century who’s belief it is that they have a right to bear arms that they can basically control and manipulate the government into not making a decision that is necessary and beneficial to the safety of its people. Governments need to stop listening to individuals on certain issues and instead put society’s interests, safety and rights first. That’s their job; that is why we elect these people into a position of power, to do what is right by us. And what is right by society is that they can safely leave their homes without the fear that some gun wielding maniac with a grudge is going to open fire. That they can go to school, the shops, the cinemas, etc and not have to wonder if someone is going to kill them. I can’t imagine living in a country where I didn't know if doing these every day activities meant it could be my last day. Welcome to the 21^st century America, please join the rest of us.  

Respecting Celebrities

The Internet allows us the opportunity to communicate with people all over the world. It provides us the opportunity to connect with people in the public eye; an opportunity that is often taken for granted. Those in the public eye are not obligated to communicate with us; it is an honour not a right. They generously give of their spare time or down moments to do so and some people repay them by treating them like property, demeaning them, harassing them or generally being disrespectful and inappropriate.

What some of you seem to forget is that celebrities are real people with real feelings. They are entitled to private lives and down time and do not have to justify their absence to us, we don’t own them. Their professions may be in the public but their private lives are just that: private. What they choose to share with us is entirely up to them, what they don’t is none of our business. We do not have a right to their personal lives any more than anyone in our own lives has a right to pry into our own personal business. And just because someone is in the public eye doesn't mean that their children and families are. They should be free to be online like any one of us, without fans swarming. They did not choose the public life and we should respect that. If someone introduces their family members and states that it’s ok to interact with them than that is a different story.

Celebrities are not your girlfriends/boyfriends. Finding someone attractive and complimenting them on their looks is on thing. Making sexual comments online, particularly in their mentions is perverted. They are people, not meat and deserve to be treated with dignity not reduced to body parts. Would you really talk the way some of you do to/about celebs to someone you were actually dating? Because some of the comments, twitter locations, banners, DPs, and things that make it onto tumblr are downright disgusting. And just because you are a teenage girl does NOT make it cute. If a guy said some of the things I see teenage girls put out there they would have their heads bitten off. Double standard much!? How would you feel if someone said such things to you or your daughter/son as if you/they were nothing more than a sex object?

Just because we are fans of someone’s work doesn't mean they have to work on our timeline. It is their careers, their talent and visions that they generously share with us. They should be free to pursue the paths they choose on their own schedule, within the bounds of any professional contracts they may have. I for one would rather see something that they are proud of and that is meaningful to them than something they just churned out for the sake of it or to meet demands. Asking something over and over again isn't going to change the outcome. We don't know what is going on behind the scenes so why harass celebs over something they may have no control over. We are not the only people in the equation, have you ever considered how it makes them feel to see the repetitive questioning to things we don’t know the whole story on. Consider how you feel when someone constantly nags you about something. Being patient doesn't mean that you don’t admire someone’s work, but it does show respect for their feelings. If they have news relevant to the public they will share it in time, not on demand.

If you have the privilege of meeting someone in the public eye or receiving a DM from them the information that you receive as a result of such interaction is private. It is not a bragging right to share with the world at large. You have been entrusted with information, honour that trust and keep it to yourself! If a friend or family member shares something privately with you do you not honour that trust? How is it different if that trust is bestowed upon you by someone in the public eye? Just because they are famous doesn't mean they don’t have the right to be respected and their trust in you upheld.

Many celebrities have asked bluntly or more subtly for people not to spam them. They have so many mentions and to have to scroll through all the spam must get old. It also means the rest of us get lost in the onslaught and makes it harder for them to reply to people should they wish to. There are also boundaries that need to be respected. Their private lives are not our personal jungle gyms and to act as though they are is disrespectful and inappropriate. Like everyone else they are entitled to their opinions. If you don't like something they have to say you don't have to reply. If you don’t like someone’s work that’s fine, everyone has different tastes, but that doesn't give you the right to slander them online for it. There is constructive criticism and then there is bashing. The world really doesn't need more hate.

Celebrities are not pawns in your sick games of pit one person against the other. Everyone is entitled to have their favourites and everyone is entitled to make comments on someone’s talent. Nobody is right or wrong. If everyone liked the same things the world would be a boring place. However, trying to prove that your favourite is the best by slandering other celebs and their fans is disgusting. These are again real people you are bashing in the name of your own favourite. They have feelings. And you are hardly being a proud representative of a fandom when you assume that the person you are barracking for would be alright with you putting down their friends and co-workers in their name. Respect each other and those who are generous enough to share their talents with us. 

For people who claim to respect, love and admire these people some of you sure have a bizarre way of showing it. Just because you have the safety of a computer screen or other such device between you does not give you the right to be hurtful, disrespectful or inappropriate. Online persona is not an excuse. You are still choosing to act that way. There are boundaries and some of you run right on past them and don't stop for anyone or anything. People often talk about such behaviour ruining things for everyone else, and while this may very well be true I am personally more concerned about the feelings of those who are subject to such things on a daily basis than my own enjoyment of interacting with these wonderful people. I would not blame some of the celebs if they pulled away from social networking altogether with the endless crap that ends up in their mentions and only intensifies at the smallest of things. Mountains are made out of mole hills on an increasingly regular basis and at the brunt of the speculation, demands and gossip are real people with real feelings, people who don’t deserve to be treated this way. Like everyone else they have the right to feel safe online and if minimising their interaction online is what they need to do to avoid such things their happiness is more important to me than their continued generosity to communicate with us.

  

So before you go mentioning someone in the public eye put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself how you would feel if someone treated you like that. I’d like to hope that you would not wish to be treated the same way.